Mike Cutter's Guide to Dating
by LTP-girl
Summary: After a gruelling day in court, Mike and Lupo decide to cheer themselves with a night on the town. When they chat up two women they meet in a bar, things are certainly not what they seem!


**I wrote this one a week ago, in the celebration of **_**Pride Week**_** (in Australia). I wouldn't say this is a crossover between **_**Law & Order**_** and **_**Queer As Folk**_**, as some characters from **_**Queer As Folk **_**are only briefly mentioned in this fic. Enjoy!!**

Disclaimer: I do not own 'Law & Order' and its characters, nor do I own 'Queer As Folk' and its characters. Charlotte and Michelle are mine.

Rating: K+, for language and adult themes

Category: Mike/Lupo (platonic friendship)

Note: I do not in any way intend on offending any members of the gay and lesbian community. My older brother happens to be gay, and I am a strong supporter of gay rights. (This is also probably why I add so many gay characters into most of my fics, lol).

Mike Cutter's Guide to Dating

By LTP-girl

Mike and Lupo sat at the bar, well into their second drink.

"Today's trial was an absolute disaster," Mike moped, staring into his glass of scotch.

"Tell me about it," Lupo agreed, gingerly taking a sip of his. "Bernard and I arrested the wrong guy."

"How was I supposed to know this kid was abused by his mother?" Mike sighed exasperated. "That cross-examine really was my downfall."

"It just goes to show, make sure you get your facts right before you stand in front of a judge and jury."

Both men hung their heads in disappointment.

Mike was about to order another drink, when two beautiful women caught his eyes.

He turned to Lupo, and pointed them out. He had an idea. "I know how to get over today's endeavours. Works every time for me," Mike said.

"Are you saying we should chat them up?" Lupo enquired, a surprised look spreading across his face.

"That's exactly what I'm saying."

Lupo shrugged. "Okay. I could do with a distraction right about now."

Both men finished their drinks, and approached the two women sitting at a four seated table, situated in the corner.

"Watch and learn," Mike said to Lupo, taking the lead.

Both women stopped talking for a moment as they noticed Mike and Lupo approach.

"Hey ladies," Mike said with a wink. "Haven't seen you two around here before."

The blonde woman on the right was the first to speak. "We don't usually come here. We just thought we'd stop here for a change, before we head to this hot new club we know."

"Oh, okay." Mike rested his arm on the back of her chair, his cologne lingering in the air. "I don't mean to impose here, but do you two mind if we join you."

Both women looked at each other, a little startled, but accepting.

"Um, sure," the blonde woman replied, looking up at both of them. "It's always great to have a couple of guys' opinions thrown into a conversation. Our usual friends are away on a cruise to the Bahamas, at the moment, so you're most welcome." She smiled up at Mike.

They both moved to the side for a moment to discuss Mike's plan of action.

"Okay, I'll one-in on the blonde over there, and you can sidle up next to the brunette with the spiky hair," Mike explained.

"Okay," Lupo agreed.

They both returned to the table.

Mike smiled back at the blonde woman dressed in jeans and a leather jacket, and took a seat next her.

Lupo took a seat next to the short-haired brunette, dressed in a business suit, sitting opposite the blonde.

"Hi I'm Cyrus," he introduced himself. He noticed that her skin was clean of makeup, which he found refreshing. He liked the natural look.

She smiled back at him. "Charlotte," she returned, shaking his hand.

"I'm Michelle," the blonde woman introduced herself to both Michael and Lupo.

"And I'm Michael," Mike introduced to both woman.

***

"So, I objected to the judge and said, 'the defence can't ask a question, and then give the answer,'" Mike said. "The guy got twenty-to-life in the end."

The group laughed hysterically.

"You're really funny Mike," Michelle said as she rubbed his arm in a friendly gesture.

"So, what do you two lady's do?" Cyrus asked with curiosity.

"Well, Charlotte's an attorney for the family court, and I'm a paediatric psychologist," Michelle explained.

"Wow, both gorgeous and smart," Mike replied with a wry smile.

"Being Executive Assistant District Attorney, that's pretty impressive too," Michelle replied.

"Yeah," Charlotte agreed. "And with your good looks, I can't see how a jury can be without bias having you on the prosecution."

"I'm a detective," Lupo added.

"Your pretty lucky to have nabbed yourself such a handsome and charming lawyer like Mike here, aren't you," Charlotte said to Cyrus.

Confusion spread across Lupo's face. _Nabbed yourself a handsome and charming lawyer like Mike, what does she mean by that?_

"I've got a joke to tell," Charlotte piped up. "There's a fairy, an honest lawyer, a homeless bum, and a vampire walking down the street, and they all spot a hundred-dollar bill discarded on the ground. Who gets the hundred-dollar bill?"

They all thought for a moment.

Lupo had the answer. "I know, the homeless bum, because fairies, vampires, and honest lawyers all are non-existent."

"That's right," Charlotte replied, chuckling.

"They all shrieked with laughter.

"So, ready for another round?" Mike said, throwing a twenty-dollar onto the table.

"You know what, I've got it," Michelle cut in, taking out her wallet, and handing the twenty-dollar bill back to Mike. "This round's on me."

"You don't have too..." Mike said.

"I insist. I have a good job, I can pay," she assured him.

She called for the bar tender and ordered another round of martinis.

***

Both Michael and Lupo got in the back seat of Charlotte's car.

"Tighten your seatbelts, boys," Michelle said, glancing at them both from the front seat. "Charlotte tends to a bit of a maniac when to comes to driving.

Mike and Lupo both laughed.

Charlotte started the engine, and drove off into the next street.

"So what's this new club like?" Mike asked.

"Oh it's fab," Michelle said. "It's the hottest club on the strip, and I'm sure you guys are going to love it."

"Drinks are on us tonight," Charlotte cried out. "_Happy hours from twelve til three, whooo!" _The car tires screeched as she sped up.

Charlotte pulled up outside the front of the club.

Music pumped loudly through the air, and a long line of people stretched out to the end of the street.

Both women got out of the car, followed by the two men.

"Don't worry about the huge line, guys," Charlotte said, leading the way. "We've got VIP passes."

They approached a woman with facial piercings and dressed entirely in leather, and flashed her their passes.

"These boys are with us," Michelle said, referring to Mike and Lupo standing behind.

"Okay, come on through," the woman said in a rather deep voice, as she lifted the red rope in front of the doorway.

Once inside, music blared, and bright lights shone in every corner of the room. Go-go boys dressed in short-shorts and wrapped in feather bowers danced on the tabletops, and people jumped up and down to the thumpa-thumpa that filled the room.

"This isn't like any club _I've_ been to," Lupo cried out to Mike over the loud music.

Mike had a strange feeling about this particular night club. The men were dressed in brightly coloured, tight T-shirts, and the women were dressed top-to-toe in leather, or flannel lumberjack shirts. There were also a flock of drag queens joking amongst themselves at the bar, and a group of leather-daddies standing quite abrasive towards the side. But what struck Mike the most was that the men danced with the men, and the women danced with the women.

The song _I Love the Nightlife_ started to play.

"I know what you mean Lupo," Mike answered wearily. "I'm pretty sure this isn't any club where a baseball fan, and a good little Catholic boy, would normally spend his time."

Michelle and Charlotte emerged from the large crowd that surrounded the bar, holding hands, and a tray of beers.

"We thought we lost you guys for moment," Charlotte said.

"If you two lovebirds need some privacy, you should head to the room at the back," Michelle informed them. "It's a great atmosphere for an intense make out session." She winked.

The two women laughed.

"Nice one Mike," Lupo retorted sarcastically. "You chatted us up a pair of lesbians, and they think we're gay too!"

Mike and Lupo smiled politely, trying to figure out how to get out of this diabolical pickle.

"You know what? We've just texted Ted and Emmett, our friends from Pittsburgh. They're staying in New York for a week," Charlotte said. "They'll be joining us this evening."

"Wait till you meet them," Michelle chimed in, placing a firm hand on Mike's shoulder. "It's not a real party until _they_ get here."

"We've got to find a way out of here," Lupo said to Mike privately, through gritted teeth.

Mike turned to face Lupo with a bemused expression. "Oh, lighten up Lupo," he retorted, taking a beer from the tray Michelle was holding. "We're here anyway, so we may as well have some fun. So what if it's a gay and lesbian hangout? It's the hottest one if it's kind in the whole city."

Mike started to move his body to the pulsing music as the song _YMCA_ started to play.

"Yeah, let's dance," Mike said enthusiastically, dragging Michelle onto the dance floor.

Lupo watched idly as his friend and colleague danced the night away. He should have known by how attentive Michelle and Charlotte were to each other at the bar earlier, and that comment Charlotte made about him _nabbing such a handsome and charming lawyer like Mike._

"Care to dance, Princess," Charlotte proposed to Lupo, taking his arm in hers.

He shrugged. Everyone else around seemed to be having a good time.

"Sure, why not?" he replied, relenting, and beginning to swing his hips as Charlotte pulled him into the crowd of thrusting dancers. _Let's just hope Bernard never finds out about this._

**What do you think? Anyone ever come across a similar situation as this one? Feel free to review.**


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